I still have so far to go.
I have been learning SO much about trusting the Lord and putting the sin of worry to death, but seriously, the moment I started to think, "I am doing good, way to go Katina," I was majorly humbled.
Preparation for this upcoming (ten days!) trip has been humbling. I feel inadequate to go and serve and I have felt completely incapable of getting myself there. Since I had been sick and not working at all up till several weeks ago (doing much better since going to the doc, by the way) I didn't have much to save up, but I did what I could. I have been blessed in that I have a family whose view of money is that it is the Lord's and not theirs and that they are ready and willing to help in the situation that we are in. But it has been extremely humbling not being able to provide much for myself.
The moment I started to trust in what little riches I had, God reminded me that it is not riches that I need to trust in to get me where I need to go, but him. I thought that I had come so far in learning to trust the Lord, but as soon the rug was pulled from under my feet, I responded in anger and distrust.
Today I am repenting and not cursing the IRS, but trying to remember Who has my time in His hands, and trying to be thankful for another moment to grow and trust. A moment to remember my complete inadequacy and remember His complete sufficiency. A moment to remember what the Goal and the Prize is that I should be running to, and that it has much less to do with my own comfort and security here and much more to do with eternal glory for my God, who deserves every last drop of it.
