Work it out

I knew coming here would be about so much more than just art; that through all of the challenges I face in re-learning what I have lost and just from being around so much wisdom, that I would grow in immense ways personally and spiritually. 

                                  

    Chateau La Hulpe. 5 minutes from the house by car, so I will run there occasionally. 

There have been so many lessons already. 

And today's lessons from church would need a post of its own. I am so thankful for all the ways God is moving in my life and teaching me. Here are just a few:

As you are working on drawing, you have to really see what you are looking at. 

Sounds funny or simple, but it is true. 

You walk past your mailbox every day, but if I asked you to describe it to me in detail I bet you would come up short. I can think that I know the proportions of an object, but if I am just focusing on my idea of what that seashell looks like, instead of constantly checking my work to see what is actually correct, I will be way off.  I have to take the time to look, really look at what I am seeing. 

That applies to life in so many ways. Take the time, be in the moment, stop rushing and notice what you are missing. Am I making up or exaggerating situations in my head, because I'm not carefully considering all sides of an issue? Stop, think, look, see the truth and not what your brain is telling you.

                                   

                                                 The forest in the park closest to home. 

In my art lessons, Hans has been asking me what I would grade myself or what I think about how I am doing.  I tend to give myself a lower score than he gives me. He said there is a difference between an emotional grade and a grade according to the criteria of the assignment. I feel like I could do better. I feel like something sucks, but really I did what was required of me. I need to separate how I feel I am doing on a drawing and just do what I am asked to do. 

As we have been talking about my tendency towards perfectionism in art and really everything, he has asked me to notice the way that I talk to myself(inner dialogue wise…I'm not crazy…well only a little), and I have been amazed at how much I talk myself down. I think that most of my thoughts about myself are negative and it has been serious brain-hurting work to start changing that. 

Instead of thinking, "I'm terrible at this," think "I'm getting better than I was yesterday." 

Seriously, most of the time I think I am doing horribly, both Hans and Norma will come and praise my work. Chill out, Katina…

So, day by day, I am coming closer to having a correct view of myself, which is pretty exciting!

                                        

                                                               Hoeilaart town hall

I've been running too, which is quite a change from the yoga, kickboxing, and hiking that I have been doing. I have a love/hate relationship with it right now, but it is just another lesson in perseverance. And seriously, with all the delicious beer, chocolate, and waffels around, I had better do something or I am going to lose all the progress I have made! (Though I haven't had a waffel yet and that needs to be remedied very soon.) So I'm starting out slowly, but I am excited to see where I'm at when I leave. 

                                   

In other news, jet lag is slowly getting better and I'm not waking up every hour and finally giving up and getting out of bed before the crack of dawn.  

 

Also, some super exciting things:

Hans and Norma's son got here today and we are all headed to Normandy on Wednesday for a couple days. We are going to see some war memorials and then hopefully see Mont Saint Michel after that (which is what I am really excited about). Seriously…France!!!

We will come back home for a couple days and then drive through Luxembourg and France to Hans' hometown in Switzerland for a week for his birthday! I'm going to Switzerland, guys!!! So, seriously I'm getting to do a lot more traveling than I ever thought and am going to enjoy every minute of it. I am just required to take my sketchbook everywhere, which is totally fine with me! 

                                   

I can't believe I haven't even been here a whole week yet. I'm excited about all the time I have left! 

Love to all! 

And even though I'm having loads of fun, know you are missed.

Xoxo,

Katina 

Jet lag, carbonnade, and the North Sea

I made it! I pushed through the anxiety of preparation, to the determination of travel, to the exhaustion of looooong flights, to the sigh of relief of finally making it to Brussels. 

The Lord was looking out for me from the beginning as I left my brand new iPad at the security checkpoint in Albuquerque and didn't even realize it until the girl that was behind me brought it over to me while I was reassembling all my things. Thank God for kind strangers!!! 

I slept almost the whole way to Atlanta; just woke up for the coffee service and then went right back to sleep (very Katina of me, I might say).  I had strange dreams that I was back at work since I was near the back and one of the flight attendants that kept talking looked a bit and sounded a lot like my old district manager from Starbucks. 

                                   

My long layover in Atlanta was made entertaining by people watching and enjoyng a flamboyant server say, "welcome to freshens!" every two minutes. It's funny what I find entertaining when I am sleep deprived. 

The flight was long and restless, but I finally made it at 8:30am Belgian time, which totally threw me off. After getting settled and a quick tour of the house I went into a 10 hour sleep coma. I wasn't planning on it, but I think I needed it badly. 

I woke up around 8pm and then Norma took me out to the garden to pick lettuce, tomatoes, parsley, radishes, and chives for a salad; then raspberries and strawberries for dessert. She also cooked a Swiss sausage and potatoes for me. It was the freshest meal I have ever had! What a delight to pick your own dinner from the garden! 

                                  

                        

I went to to bed again happy, full, and utterly spoiled! (Norma says "that's the whole point!") 

       

   Hans knocked on my door this morning with fresh Swiss coffee! Probably the best I have ever had!

Today was Norma's birthday so we had a fun full day. We drove out to Nieuwpoort to have lunch with Norma's friend Astrid (who was a delight and a blessing). 

                                

    

I got to try a staple Belgian dish at Feu D'or called "vlaamse carbonnade." It was fantastic. Similar to beef stew, but slow cooked in Belgian beer with caramelized onions and other goodness. Find a recipe and try it, it will change your life. 

     

I also tried shrimp that actually looked like shrimp for the first time. I pulled the tail off and picked the meat out and everything. I did ok until I found a pregnant one with all the eggs attached. Hans got a some great pictures of my reaction to that! But I have to admit I am pretty proud of myself for trying it.

  My new motto is "try anything (most things. Ha!) once"! 

      

After lunch we braved the high winds to walk down to the beach so I could stick my feet in the North Sea! I loved it even though the weather was crazy. 

                                  

                                   

                                   

Tomorrow we get down to business with the artwork and I could not be more excited for everything to come! I feel abundantly blessed and it's only been two days! 

Stay tuned for more excitement...

Xoxo

Katina 

What if I fly?

I am a worrier. Always have been, I think. 

So when I am about to do this amazing thing: going to Belgium to study art for three months, I am thinking of all the things that could go wrong instead of focusing on all the exciting things. 

"What if?" is a dangerous question and it keeps you analyzing and agonizing over the future, instead of being thankful for the present. 

What if I'm not good enough? What if I come back and don't get to do anything with what I've learned? What if something bad happens to me over there? What if something happens to my family while I'm gone? What if? What if? What if? 

Ok, so what if the worst I can imagine happens... It still won't be wasted, it's still for a higher purpose, and it will still be for my good. 

If I stop running circles in my head and making myself dizzy with all the details for a second and look at the big picture I am amazed at what I am getting to go do. I am beyond blessed. I just need someone to kick me in the pants and tell me to chill out. 

Really, it will be over before I know it. Three months is really a short amount of time. 

And I have a serious tendency to make things way more dramatic than they should be. 

I don't want to worry about what I'm leaving behind or what I'm going to do when I get back. 

I just want to live. I want to savor every God-given moment on this little adventure. 

I want to live by what I know and not by what all these little fears are telling me. 

I know that God is good.

I know he has a plan for me. 

So his plan for me will be good and I don't have to worry.

The more I grow, the more I feel like I have to learn. 

My faith has increased and yet it is still so small. 

I am longing for a fearless faith in the God who loves me. 

He is so gracious and so patient to remind me time and time again that his love for me is personal and detailed, that he knows what I need better than I do, and that he delights to give me good things. 

So I'm going to try and tone down the crazy and be grateful for all of these good things I have been given!

“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened. Or which one of you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a serpent? If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him! (Matthew 7:7-11 ESV)

“Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble." (Matthew 6:25-34 ESV)