Solitary Adventures-Learning to be Bold

For the first half of our time in Belgium our days off were a bit rough. Kayla and I both hated being by ourselves knowing that the other was having to work twice as hard and was most likely doubly exhausted. I wrote an entry on one of those days, but never finished it or posted it. 

I vented my frustrations as follows: 

"I, Katina Hembree am a lily-livered coward. It's true. I am freshly showered (which is becoming a less frequent thing), have clean hair (also less frequent), I have shaved my legs, and I could be getting ready to go out somewhere-put on make-up, dry my hair, the whole shebang- and instead I am sitting in the family room and blogging. I haven't gone anywhere significant on my days off so far. My first day I just walked around Genval and on one of my days off Kayla and I got to go to Bruxelles, but the last one I just crashed. (OK. I just went and counted my days off so far and this is only my fourth one, so I feel a bit less lame.)

Today I slept til 10:30 (can I just say, O blessed rest!) then Kayla roused me from the bed and we went for a walk/run. She first asked me if I wanted to go for a run, but I asked if we could call it a walk with a bit of running so I would be more apt to get my rear in gear and get ready. We were out for about an hour and went 5.7km, which is actually pretty good (for us) when you add the time it took for us to stop and stretch, decide which way to go, and stare at a map in Rixensart when we had no idea how to get back to Genval.

We got back and collapsed on the front step, then came in to see everyone with our sweaty, red faces. I had to put some clothes in the dryer to have something nice to wear today, so I did that. We talked with the ladies of the house for a bit, got to see Haven (yay!) before she went back out to catch a plane to Budapest. So by the time I ate lunch and stretched some more and talked with everyone it was near 3:00. I took a looooooong shower, got minimally ready and am now sitting on my butt in the family room, feeling a bit lame for not rushing myself to get ready and go out and have great adventures by myself.

I am having this problem with my days off that I look forward to having the day to do whatever I want, but by the time my day off rolls around I come up with a billion excuses as to why I shouldn't go anywhere. For instance, right now it is quite late to go to Bruxelles, I don't have any Euros and I can't remember my pin number to get cash, which means I would have to go to the ticket counter inside the train station instead of buying a ticket with cash on the train, which is something that I have done before; I am sore from this morning, I now have a headache, and I hate, hate, hate, going anywhere by myself-especially where I don't know anything and feel dumb and conspicuous.  All of these are ridiculous. I know that. I am in Belgium. I should have adventures even if I have to go by myself and just make myself have fun, right? Right.

I am the Queen of hermiting and hiding alone in my room, but please never ask me to go anywhere  out in the world by myself. All of the awkwardness I feel going out by myself at home is greatly amplified here because of the language barrier and all of the newness and not knowing how to deal with things here.

Is being a solitary wanderer an acquired skill?"

Now I am here to answer myself. 

Yes, yes it is. 

It was a couple weeks after that post, Kayla had her day off and got to go out with a friend and I was hoping to do the same on mine, but it just didn't work out. But that ended up being ok, because God had much to teach me. 

It was April 20th and I drew out the morning as usual, sleeping in and taking forever to get ready, but I just knew that I had to get out that day. I had a hard time with it at first. I really didn't want to be alone and my loneliness was overwhelming me. Before I left, I went and talked to Rebecca about it, she let me hug her and prayed for me. I bolted out of there so I wouldn't start crying. I was extremely apprehensive, but I knew the Lord was pushing me to go, so I went.  

This is how I was feeling on the walk to the train station.

The Lord really showed his care for me the whole day. In talking with Rebecca and her encouraging words, in Annie helping me to figure out where to go and finding a map and train schedules for me. In being late for the train, so I would be at the right place at the right time to meet another person who spoke English from Romania; and get to ride into Bruxelles with Haven, Ben, and the girl I met from Romania. Haven gave me her train card so I didn't have to buy a ticket and I got to use it on the way back as well. 

I went to Bruxelles and went to a shopping area and ducked into this church for a bit. 

It was very peaceful. I wandered around the interior praying and taking pictures, trying to gather myself and calm my anxiety. 

I remember being reminded of Psalm 118:6, "The LORD is on my side; I will not fear. What can man do to me?" and Psalm 27:1, "The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?"

The longer I was out by myself, the more I had a growing awareness of His presence with me and my security in Him. 

I knew it was time for me to be bold and courageous, so I walked out the door.   

It started raining, which was comical, but I had bought a little umbrella after our first rain soaked outing, so I was not unprepared. I actually started enjoying it. 

I found some much needed new jeans, which made me very happy. 

I ended up just losing myself in the shopping as you can see from my spoils.

Had a delicious coffee

and then I just wandered around

This is me on my way back into Gare du Nord. Happy!

The Lord really blessed me with confidence in his presence and his care for me that day and it has really changed my outlook on solitary wandering and taught me to set aside my fear and look to the Father for strength. I can cast my burdens on Him, because He cares for me. 

That lesson on that day is just one of the many reasons I am forever changed from going to Belgium. It was one of the hardest things I have have done, but the blessings matched the hardships and I wouldn't change it for the world!

Just chuggin' along

I have been lax in blogging the past several weeks, so here are a lot of pics and a bit of info on what went on.

The first week of April was Birthday week for Rebecca. Her birthday was on the 4th and her party was on the 6th, so it was quite a busy week. I think we said Happy Birthday week, Happy two days before, Happy day before your birthday, Happy Birthday, Happy day after, Happy Birthday party day.... you get the idea.

Paul and Rebecca going out to lunch

Birthday week was also the week before Easter, so there were little bunnies everywhere. 

Several ladies came on Friday to celebrate Rebecca's life. It was so sweet.

Part of the spread

Easter tree and champagne glasses

This is Hallie, one of the ladies' granddaughter. It looks like she is rolling her eyes, but she really did like me. :)

Sweet Rebecca. 

Anne and Laura

Both Rebecca and Maddie are ready for a nap after all the excitement. 

Haven the Mahhhhvelous Maven took us to church with her the previous Sunday and then stole us away for a bit longer to show us the Chateau de la Hulpe. It was a lovely day.

The grounds were beautiful. We felt like we should have worn dresses and be reading something while walking. 

Sister, Me,  and the lovely Haven. 

This is how tired I am... except more. 

One of my duties. Meds!

Oh sister.

Greasy hair days make for good hairstyle experimenting.

More Belgian rainy days/

I have been practicing my uke a lot more lately.  I have added some new songs to the one I am learning and making some headway with the ones I was already working on. 

I bought my own giant coffee mug!

Just practicing for working on a tat design for a friend. :/ Which reminds me...I need to work on it some more. 

In typical Katina fashion my feet were both injured on the same day. My right big toe was run over in a wheelchair...and I stepped on a wheelchair ramp with my full weight, which did not happen to be all the way on the ground...and my other foot happened to be under it. These things just happen right? ....yeah, I know it's just me. 

On Easter I read through the Lord's Supper to the end of the book in each of the gospels. I had the Lord's Supper each time. It was pretty cool. 

Genval train station. We are great friends now.

Going to church!

I really should pay more attention to what these actually are. Sorry. 

Spring has sprung!

Ruins of something on the way to church. 

Belgian Waffle with strawberries, whipped cream, and nutella. Yeah, it was as good as it sounds.

Ohmyfreakinggoodness, the coffee here (the good stuff) is to die for.

Our reflection in the window of a passing train.

My first experience with Belgian beer. Had this the second night we were here and again this past week.  I know it's fruity and girly, but it is pretty delicious. I'm working on branching out. 

We have had some pretty busy weeks this month and this week will be more so. Lots of guests, so there will be lots of running around. Hopefully we won't be pulling our hair out (or each others) by the end of the week. But as I have been kinda of dreading this week and all of it's sleep-deprived craziness, I have been reminded of what one of my brothers at the well said on Sunday. He said that in light of all that we had talked about (go to the end of this post to see what that was) we can walk throughout the week, knowing that whatever God has put on our plate for the week or just for the day, that we can submit it to Him and trust Him with it, knowing that He will use it for His glory. I am praying that I will still be reminded of that tomorrow,as I (and we) will greatly need it.

Hopefully, more pics to come later!