A typical(?) morning

Annie the extraordinaire has left us for the week to see family in France. It is a well deserved break for her, as she does most everything around here. She has been with the Petrie's for a long time and know's everything there is to know about the house and about Rebecca's care. So Kayla and I are mostly on our own this week, except for when Paul is around to help. Annie does most of the cooking, laundry, translating, and just all the little details that need to be taken care of, so Kayla and I both know that this week is going to be a hard one.

I hope that the rest of this week will go a bit smoother than this morning. Kayla and I have worked out the schedule where I do most of the morning duties and she does the evening stuff and the midnight turn. I think it is helping both of our bodies to have a better rhythm and better sleep. I think both of us already feel a little less exhausted.

This morning I got up around 6:30, I actually set my alarm for 5:55 so I could get a shower but I definitely shut that alarm up as soon as I heard it and decided it was not worth it. I went downstairs at 7:00 to do the morning duties with Paul, basically hygiene stuff and getting her in her chair. Paul left and I arranged her room, fed the birds, and got her breakfast and tea ready.  When I had all of that done I went back into the kitchen to make my breakfast. Thankfully I have learned to make my coffee while I make her tea or I would fall over before I get to eat. I will usually try to do something simple, like scrambled eggs and toast, but since I am trying not to eat as much bread I have been doing omelettes or fancy scrambled eggs, so it takes a bit longer. This morning, I was was running in and out of the kitchen and taking my skillet off the burner when I heard the buzzer (the thing we carry around with us in case Rebecca needs us).

When I finally was done with everything, I got to sit for about twenty minutes before getting Rebecca ready for KINE (physical therapy). When the lovely Donatienne (I'm not sure how to spell it), got here at 9:15 I ran up to get ready for the day. I'm pretty sure took a ten-fifteen minute shower (which, if you know me, is pretty amazing), got ready and ran down to get ready for the morning nurse. We had many mishaps with the poor morning nurse, so it took a bit longer than normal. After that we had to rush around to get Rebecca ready for the garden architect who was coming at 11:00. We got her out a bit late, around 11:10. While she and Paul were outside with the garden architect. I tried to get lots of dishes done. Last night, Kayla and I rinsed the dishes and loaded the dishwasher, but didn't start it because it wasn't a full load. We rinsed them so well that they looked clean and some of them got unloaded this morning, so I pulled lots of dishes out from the cupboard and washed most of them. It was almost time to get ready for lunch, so I was trying to hurry and I was getting a bit frantic, really, from running around all morning. While I was washing cups in the sink, praying for patience and joy, and a good attitude, the doorbell rang.

"What now!" I exclaimed.

It was the grocery delivery that I had forgotten about. So I had to go open the garage and find the card to pay the man, but I got the wrong card, forgot my "Je suis désolé. Je ne parle pas Français," and tried to look apologetic instead of frustrated. (Can I please just learn French by osmosis?) I finally had to get Paul from the garden to help me and went back inside ready to bang my head against a cabinet repeatedly.

Once that was dealt with and Paul was back in the garden, I just had to work out my frustration, so I put on some music on my computer and rocked out to FLAME (a christian rapper) in the kitchen while I was drying dishes. I felt really funny, blasting rap in the kitchen, and totally getting down while I was doing dishes in the kitchen where you can usually hear soft piano music playing. It seriously helped though.

 As soon as I saw them coming back up the path, I put on something a bit more mellow:

(which I enjoyed just as much. I love A Fine Frenzy)

I put everything out for lunch and was the last one to go sit down. Whew! It was a lovely lunch. Today we got to sit out on the deck for the first time this Spring. I look forward to many more meals out there. 

After cleaning up from lunch I ran upstairs to clean up a bit and put some lotion on my poor red and dry hands, went to the second floor to the family room where I have hung out a bit with my sister, in the room and on the deck, and am now writing this blog. I opened the deck door and the window across the room, so there is a nice cross-breeze and I have been listening to Bon Iver in one ear and the birds and the children playing in the other. It has been quite lovely. :) 

My feet (and whole body really) are tired and sore, but my soul is refreshed in this little bit of rest that I am having, enjoying my Saviour's gifts to me. Sunshine, fresh air, and lovely music. The birds remind me of his care and his grace. The wind is a cool kiss upon my face. And the music takes me to a place of rest and wonder. The second cup of coffee will give me the energy I need to get through the next four hours (hopefully).  Tonight we have guests coming and Kayla and I have to figure out what in the world to do for dinner. So here's to a lovely (and busy) rest of the day!

I totally made her pose for these. :)

I think she did well, don't you?

This is quickly becoming our favorite room in the house.

I hope you can see why. :)

Still considering a break-in. Seriously!! Just look at it!

About half a pot will get me through most of the day. 

I'm very thankful for my coffee

And delicious biscuits.

It is so easy to bless and thank the Lord in these times of rest. I SO need to improve in thanking the Lord when I am trying to get a hundred things done at once and so many things do not go as I planned. 

But in all of it there is grace. 

P.S. So sorry about all the un-editedness of these posts. I hardly have time to get it all out and by the time I have written there is either not any time to go back and polish it, or I am just to mentally tired out to do it. Hope you enjoy reading them anyway. :)

Grace through trial

My mind is bursting with all that I am learning. I feel like a balloon that is about to pop.

I am learning so much practically, all the care taking duties, medicine schedules, trying to pick up some french, and just a lot of little details. But I feel like I am learning so much more spiritually. My spirit was so exhausted yesterday evening and I was so overwhelmed with everything the Father is teaching me. It is definitely all good, but sometimes I just don't know how in the world to take it all in.

I have been struggling the past several days with a bit of spiritual oppression. The first day it was an encompassing sense of sadness, not really about anything in particular, but over everything. The second day it was a sense of accusation and guilt. Yesterday, I was tempted to question God about everything. I am learning so much and growing so much, but I can feel the tempter feeling his way around and trying to find my weak spot, trying to get me to despair over everything. I think he knows he is losing. (These are things that I struggle with a lot of the time, but never in such an overwhelming sense in quite a while. That is why I think it is spiritual warfare. Just in case you were wondering. :)  )

I asked Rebecca to pray about it at bedtime the second day and she told me that those things are extremely common in this area of Europe. She said, "well that is silly to carry it around all this time." :) She prayed boldly and with authority in Jesus name for me and I feel some of the burden lifted. Rebecca also said that I need to strengthen my spiritual armor, so I have been diving into Ephesians 6 and feel like I have been really learning to "pray at all times in the Spirit, with prayer and supplication." Every time I feel the heat of accusation or the whisper in my ear questioning God's goodness, sovereignty, and love; I just shoot it right back up to the Lord and submit it to him.

I'm not going to lie. It is hard and it is exhausting, but it is so good. I have been reading and re-reading Romans 8 and abiding in, "there is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." Ah, what relief! What a refuge! I have received the spirit of adoption as his child and I can cry "Abba Father!" I am helped in my weakness and I am interceded for by the Spirit. "If God is for me, who can be against me?" Who can bring any charge against me? "It is God who justifies. Nothing can separate me from the love of Christ.

I am being filled to the brim and running over. The Father is breaking and healing my heart repeatedly here and filling me with his joy and his strength. It is exhausting and mind blowing and shattering; it is amazing and miraculous and joyous that the Father would care to discipline me, to change me and grow me as he is doing.

It is amazing, when you stop complaining and start thanking the Lord for everything, even the seemingly bad things, how much there is to be thankful for and how much of everything I have is a blessing and not a right.

I love this place, I love these people, and I am so thankful for them and how God is using them and this place to change my heart and glorify himself.  Oh, and how much more there is to come. :)


Shane & Shane  

"Embracing Accusation"

"The father of lies
Coming to steal
Kill and destroy
All my hopes of being good enough
I hear him saying cursed are the ones
Who can’t abide
He’s right
Alleluia he’s right!

The devil is preaching
The song of the redeemed
That I am cursed and gone astray
I cannot gain salvation
Embracing accusation

Could the father of lies
Be telling the truth
Of God to me tonight?
If the penalty of sin is death
Then death is mine
I hear him saying cursed are the ones
Who can’t abide
He’s right
Alleluia he’s right!

Oh the devil’s singing over me
An age old song
That I am cursed and gone astray
Singing the first verse so conveniently
He’s forgotten the refrain
Jesus saves!

He redeemed us from the curse of the law."

getting into the groove

March 9
I know that I am going to love it here. Today has already been a bit better as we are getting into the swing of things. Sleep is still rough and we are still exhausted at the end of the day, but getting to know the people around us more makes it all worthwhile.

Last night there was a full moon and Annie came to tell Rebecca and try to get her where she could see it. We already had Rebecca in bed to go to sleep, but Annie unplugged the bed and we all tried to get it at the right angle so Rebecca could see. Kayla and I sat on the floor next to Rebecca's bed and watched the moon together. I was brought to tears with the grace and Godliness of this woman. She thanked the Lord for being able to see the moon and she told us stories about stargazing and moon-watching with her children and with friends in Africa. She praises the Lord for everything. The good and the bad. The Lord is teaching me to do the same through her.

We are going to begin a Bible study with her soon and are both really excited about it.

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March 10
Today Kayla and I tried to go see the Chateau du Lac for the second time and for the second time, ended up going in the opposite direction we wanted to go. In the Rain. We basically just wandered around and looked at houses, trying not to feel miserable as we were getting soaked. We packed lunches to eat at the lake and made ourselves look all pretty so we could take pictures and look like exciting and adventurous tourists having a picturesque lunch by a castle. Nope. Instead we took pictures of houses and doors and our wet faces.

As we were walking, we both were getting increasingly cranky and I was complaining internally and externally. We did not understand why we could not find the dang lake and why we got all excited to get out, just for it to rain and us to look gross. I have been convicted about my grumbling lately. I am a stark contrast to Rebecca's shining example in being thankful.

Kayla and I both prayed out loud while we walked, entrusting our situation to the Lord and both of us thanked Him for it. If anything, this little outing gave us a chance to practice thankfulness in every situation and gave us a chance to feel like stupid American tourists.

I think, next time we will make it and have some lovely pictures of the Chateau du Lac, but for now, here are some Belgian doors, and houses, and streets, and walls. :)

Love this color

Also very nice

Every door was a different color and style

 

So much nicer than our cookie-cutter American style

Finding our way back home

This is me pulling up my pants and not being very excited to take a picture.

Kayla, standing against a Belgian wall

Near the town center where we made the wrong turn

Made it safely back home. 

Some other perks from today were getting beautiful flowers from Paul (he bought all the ladies in the house flowers today, the biggest bouquet for Rebecca, of course) and watching more of Downton Abby tonight. We are on the fifth episode in the first series and we all love it. I love that our taste in movies matches up pretty well. :)

Kayla and I made new strides in care giving today and are thanking the Lord for his grace in it. Oh, He is good.

Echos of a creative Creator

I have decided that the things you love to do and the best things to do are the hardest things to do. Everything that I am passionate about I procrastinate the most with. Everything that I get the most joy from I avoid doing. If I begin something it somehow becomes the hardest thing in the world to finish. Why is this?

I shall propose my theory...

The things that make us happy, things that fill our hearts with joy till they are ready to burst, are the things that we were made for. We were each uniquely created with different talents and personalities to display those talents and each of those unique things are a reflection of the unique and magnificent God who created us. I am in Christ, but I still war against the flesh. My identity has changed and my heart made new, but sin still clings to this frail humanity of mine.

Working, and fighting, and struggling against the flesh is not a natural habit for me. I must learn to do battle against taking the easy road through life. My flesh wars against these things that I long to do, because these are the things that bring the most glory to God and give me the most joy in Him.

So, here's to throwing off encumbrances, running the race, and fighting the good fight; for the glory of he who created me and in whom my heart exalts.

And for me doing this means...

being a better student, in school and of the Word
singing
writing
drawing
seriously learning to play the guitar
turning my writings into songs I can play on my guitar
ministering to people I am around
being a part of the Church, locally and globally
being around children
learning to be a better cook
eating well
disciplining my body to LOVE exercise : /

This means not spending hours lost in random social media and unedifying television. Not that there isn't any value in these things, or that they can't be used well, I just have had more than my share of them in the past years and want to choose to do the BEST things and more valuable things. I want to learn to use various forms of media, but not be dependent on them.

I hope to become less "connected" and more developed in the coming years.

off to cultivate a lifetime of pursuits,

Katina ;)